Clara Was Here

It's been a month (!?) since my last note-to-self. Been feeling the need to take stock, but it's been hard to zoom out when you're in the thick of things. Let's see: in my last post I wrote about my new partner, work and travel. What's come up since? Mainly: Jon and I have decided to separate. The way I put it makes it sound very amicable and reasonable, but in reality, it was a month of tearful confessions, backsliding, an unbelievable amount of pain. 26 April is when it started. I texted Jon that I'd be home for dinner, but I had dinner with my other partner instead. When I got home Jon was rightly upset with me for making commitments I couldn't fulfil. I think I had been under immense strain from weeks of disappointing not one but two partners, and that just broke me. I said, let's break up. We kept triggering each other at home and he offered to stay in a hotel for a few days. During this separation something in me broke free, and I finally had the ...