2025 Week 9: Compensatory Consumerism

I meant to finish Das Kapital vol. 1 before starting my new job. I had hoped to sunder my life neatly into two, so Unemployed Lefty Clara would be dead and gone by the time Corporate Sellout Clara was born. Unfortunately, they are both alive, fighting Faust-like for ascendancy:

Two souls, alas, dwell in my breast,
Each seeks to rule without the other.
The one with robust love's desires
Clings to the world with all its might,
The other fiercely rises from the dust
To reach sublime ancestral regions.

First, I just want to say that I don't feel the least bit exploited. My new job is really cushy, pays really well, has tons of benefits, and my colleagues are great. It's in news/media, so the vibe is far from corporate. As a J-O-B, it's great. 

But I still feel really uncomfortable. Like, constant urge to vomit kind of uncomfortable. Here's my analysis:

1. One issue is the nature of the work (sponsored content). Actually a lot of fellow writers are okay with shilling for clients, and I can see why. It's easy money. Clients are dumb, and they are generally happy with your amateur-hour garbage. It's sort of the media equivalent of sugar-dating. Plus, what is the harm in it, really, when no one actually consumes sponsored content? And what would be the alternative, anyway? Churn-alism?

2. Also the shock of being plunged into the bourgeoisie (such cold waters!). For example, I heard a colleague casually say it's a good thing that every home will be walking distance to an MRT station because "everyone's home value will rise". OMG, I've been redpilled by Marx! And I realised that in the past few years I had been hanging out almost exclusively with people with completely different beliefs (property appreciation is a zero-sum game; for every increment, someone else loses, etc.). 

3. Finally, it's personal: I see my ~return to the workforce~ as the final stage of long-drawn-out failure. In 2021 I sought a life less capitalist. I tried freeganism, social work, entrepreneurship, hourly-wage labour, gig work, freelance non-profit work, entrepreneurship... none of them was the perfect fit, and I guess I could not really accept that each one comes with a psychic cost attached. Does that mean I actually belong to the urban middle-class salariat? I hate the thought of that!

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My dominant coping strategy has been what David Harvey calls compensatory consumerism. ("The one with robust love's desires / Clings to the world with all its might")

Yes, I might be alienated from my job, but, as the refrain goes, that's why they call it compensation! It seems that when I accept a fat paycheck I revoke the right to want better. "You're really lucky, don't complain," my friends admonish. And I am (lucky)! Yet isn't it normal, to feel that something is missing? 

So I have been spending a lot of money on Nice Middle-Class Things. They have mostly fallen pretty flat. Restaurants with underwhelming food, cocktail bars with underwhelming drinks, the troublesomeness of arranging dates with underwhelming people. What is it all for?!

I made a list. On the left, things that are stupid and disappointing; on the right, superior alternatives:

• Fancy restaurants / Cooking at home
• Chatting with bored guys online / Reading books
• Partying with strangers / Bullshitting with close friends
• Fucking cocktail bars / Homey watering holes
• Time-consuming dating apps / Watching movies alone
• Vaping / Sleeping early
• Perfectly plated exotic dishes / Pepper Lunch
• Looking at Instagram / Sketching outdoors

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I went for my first TimeLeft event and have mixed feelings. I liked most of the people I met. We had pretty good chemistry and it was fun to be mildly offensive with strangers. The restaurant was weird but the beer was cheap and pretty good. BUT!!! There has to be something rather depressing about this whole scene. After a while I felt super weird about partying with people ponying up $20-30/month to meet other salaried elites.

They call it an "app to solve loneliness". Hilarious. We are lonely because we live in a universe where all our conceivable needs are met through apps, so long as you have the income for it. In such a world, what reason is there for people to work together to solve problems and meet communal needs? I don't think another app is going to solve that. Anyway, there are all these eateries and bars where white-collar people hang out - couldn't you just go up to someone and start talking, if you're so lonely? Pfft. I'm still going next week though.

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From the Wiki page for Marxist alienation: "human beings are objectively alienated when they are hindered from developing their essential human capacities." Something to think about. What human capacities am I neglecting?

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Unrelated, but if you're a Chinese Singaporean who "goes to Japan a lot" I will completely judge your ass. I bet your idea of Indian food is roti prata, too. LOL.

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Pictures from the week (hey I realised this Instagram Story archive thing is quite useful):