2025 Week 8: A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again

It's official: I am now very on Instagram. It began, I'm sorry to say, with posting Stories for attention from specific men (Marjie: "I feel like that's a canon event") but I guess it sort of became its own thing. Certainly Instagram is an excellent consolidated platform for the validating male gaze, but I've realised most of the connections I'm making are with female friends and acquaintances.

Anyway, I posted a lot on IG last week so I feel I have nothing much to say now. The main course was definitely the wedding, which was chaos, but fun in a rabak way. The afterparty was sick (parting in hotel rooms is bomb, why have I not discovered this before?) but Jon was literally ill so couldn't take part.

I can't embed posts since my IG is private, but here's what I wrote the morning after, before passing out again:

"... we got married for the house 7 yrs ago. i really didnt want a ceremony because eww marriage. so when this wedding dinner plan came up i agreed verbally but was tormented by despair. it forced me to get everything off my chest with jon: fuck monogamy, fuck the relationship escalator, fuck subsuming your individuality, fuck this monolithic and oppressive instutition, fuck cishet couple privilege, fuck tradition, fuck codependency, fuck restrictive promises. he stepped up, we laid everything bare, and it was so good. we worked out so many arrangements, like for living in different countries, doing HRT, and bringing other partners home. there was this cosmic twin moment: we both said at the same time that this wedding would be our last concession to the institution before we completely trash the script.

we marched in to the kurt angle entrance theme ("you suck") lol. sorry to all attendees for the lack of organisation and my constant eye rolling and sitting with my legs apart and thank you for coming.

joel, marjie, yaowek, van, thank you for the afterparty and linkin park screaming session that almost got us kicked out. i think so much of our present day selves can be traced back to teenage trauma of prolonged blue balls. (once an incel, always an incel?) and also i am a vape convert."

IN OTHER NEWS, I (a) started a new job and (b) finished Das Kapital vol. 1.

(a) New job turns out to be way cushier than I thought. I was uncomfortable about being in the capitalist system for, like, a day. With 4 days a week of WFH it feels like I'm still freelancing, except with a fat paycheck every month and cushy employee benefits (I'll get paid even when I'm sick, wtf). Basically this job is my sugar daddy. 

(b) The first half of Das Kapital plods on and on, but it finally gets good and impassioned towards the end. I love how salty he gets about John Stuart Mill and other bourgeois economists. The survey of working class living conditions was great. Supposedly, he took the data from parliamentary reports? Such damning stuff! I dog-eared like 40 pages of quotes I liked, but too tired to go into them all now.

After a "cautiously optimistic" first week of work, I feel pretty ready to throw myself into this salariat lifestyle. Already have a bunch of things lined up, all the luxuries I haven't had money for for the longest time: movies, TimeLeft, impromptu travel, hotel parties, LASIK, OKCupid dating, Korean BBQ, clubbing...