UK Diary Part 2: The North
Day 8
After a gruelling travel day, we are now in the teeny tiny toy town of Settle, far up in the north of England.
To get here from London we had to take the bus then subway then 2 major trains, covering over 300km in one full day. (We left home at 10am and got here 4.30pm).
The first major train journey was the 12:03 London to Leeds on LNER, departing from King's Cross station. To begin with, King X is fucked up, but it was made worse by there being NO train platform assigned until 10 minutes before departure. So there was a huge mass of Leeds-bound passengers clogging up the place as we stood gazing slack-jawed at the departure info screen for non existent updates.
The train was warm, which should've been nice - except there was no ventilation or air circulation. What could have been a pleasant 2.5 hour journey was downright unbearable.
The train called at an unscheduled stop to let an unwell passenger off, which would have been fine if not for it lingering inexplicably for 30 minutes. Our northern fellow passengers were nice, however: "it only got delayed for 30 minutes, that's not too bad."
LNER has no dining car but offers coffee/food service to your seat. Unfortunately the food service is on a completely different website, requiring you to create a new user account entirely, just for one cup of coffee. At least the coffee arrived very quickly, borne by an overworked staff member.
After I drank my coffee I tried the train toilet. The flush worked but the tap was spoilt. But maybe I should adopt the northern philosphy: 1 out of 2 works, that's not too bad.
Arrived at Leeds station half an hour late, so had no time to check out Leeds, and instead stood shivering on the platform for 20 minutes waiting to board the Northern train from Leeds to Carlisle.
Despite its advanced age, the Northern train was much more comfortable than the LNER, with cushy seats and wide tables. Of course the views of the Yorkshire Dales during lambing season also helped.
Settle is the first in a series of absurdly cute train stations along the Settle-Carlisle line. Most people just pass through, but I fancy Settle so much that we booked not 1 but 3 nights at the King William IV Guesthouse. It is marvellous and cost £80/night. We've had hot showers and a massive pub dinner so I think we are going to sleep very well indeed.
Day 9
Had huge breakfast at our B&B. Seeing Manx kippers on the menu, I had to order some to try. Alas, the manna of fictional Victorian-era Scottish detective heroines turned out to be more or less like saba teriyaki. Which is a very heavy dish to break your fast with.
Instead I fell in love with the porridge, fruit salad, homemade preserves, and - do you see it? - the TOAST RACK. (Not to damn with faint praise, but I really think porridge and toast are the 2 food things the Brits do best.)
Right behind Settle there's a path up into the Yorkshire Dales. We walked up High Hill, ate simnel cake, peed and wiped with some unknown moss, got stung by stinging nettle, tried unsuccessfully to tempt sheep with an apple, and walked along a sheep poo track to the next village, Langcliffe, before walking back home.
The rain started shortly after we got back so I spent the afternoon doing sink laundry and finishing Decline and Fall.
For dinner we dashed out to Co-Op to buy some things for a bed picnic. This was the fateful night I became yet another slavering anglophile BBC addict. I turned on the telly and Beyond the Yorkshire Farm was on and I simply could not stop watching it. Today's grade: A
Day 10
Northerners are so nice. At breakfast we got to chatting with this guy in a Leeds United jersey and his girlfriend - I don't even know what our conversation was about, probably not much, but it left me with a happy feeling.
It's a good thing we did our walk on the first day in Settle, because the weather's gone to shite since with rain and wind. Probably about 3-5 degrees now. Took the train up to Appleby just to look at the scenery through the window. A refreshment trolley materialised in the 2nd half of our trip and I happily got a Lion bar and cup of tea; neither was very good but somehow they cheered me immensely.
At Appleby station I immediately went shopping at the Settle-Carlisle Railway merchandise shop. You can see Jon modelling the beanie and sweatshirt as we walked around Appleby:
We went to the river and looked at funny ducks, went to the castle, explored the charity shops, patronised a sweet shop, then when it started raining we hid in a cafe and ate a massive jacket potato.
Then we took the train back to Settle and dozed most of the late afternoon away.
It was still raining in the evening but we braved it for the 20 steps to Rosa & Matteo's, Settle's single Italian restaurant. It is ridiculously good. After eating here I completely regret wasting all my meals on silly pub food and cold sandwiches.
Day 11
Here we are at the famous Ribblehead Viaduct in the Yorkshire Dales.
It's been so cold these 2 days. I'm wearing almost everything I have - 2 pairs of leggings, 2 thermals, 2 jackets, gloves, etc. Today we experienced a new level of cold: earache. So now we have to wear stupid hats to cover our ears too.
I regret to say this morning didn't go well at all. I lost track of time and thought we had another day in Settle, so we had to pack everything in a rush. This made me super angry. Also I found the roll-y luggage so hard to wheel around!! Was sorely tempted to chuck it at the Settle charity shop or mail it back home. Of course after I calmed down and got some sugar and fat in me it didn't seem so bad.
Oh yeah, a note on eating. Since we came to the UK I have not felt hunger in its normal form (empty stomach). I don't feel any sensation in my belly at all. Instead I only know I need food when I am crying or losing my temper at the tiniest thing.
Have not yet gotten used to British food. My body, accustomed to low-fat fibrous foods like rice and vegetables, does not register steak and ale pies, cold sandwiches, and fish and chips - no matter how hearty! - as sustenance. I feel bloated but not satiated. I have a near-constant hankering for chocolate bars and ice cream and other fatty sweet things.
Anyway, after this meltdown which caused us to miss the train, we LOBOed for a couple of hours at The Folly and said goodbye to Settle.
The refreshment trolley lady appeared!!! But our ride was only 15 minutes.
Arrived at Ribblehead and ran through the freezing rain to the Station Inn.
Tiny room, but so toasty especially since we don't need to put on a coat for dinner at the pub just downstairs. This pub has a real fireplace! Too good. But experience somewhat marred by group of 3 middle-aged pseudo-sophisticated manchildren repeating "centrist" views about immigration and welfare state undoubtedly read in the Torygraph.
Day 12
Not many photos from today I'm afraid; I was gloved up most of the time.
We checked out of Ribblehead Station Inn after breakfast (smoked salmon and scrambled eggs) and walked up the footpath leading ostensibly up Whernside, one of the Yorkshire Three Peaks. We never got near the end though, because after 2h of walking the rain got bad and we turned back.
At least we got to see Blea Moor and the remnants of the shanty towns where the people who built Ribblehead Viaduct lived. Also while peeing I picked up a salamander.
We hid in the cosy tearoom at Ribblehead station and ate chips (crisps), cookies (biscuits), and something called a Yorkshire scallywag. Then we caught the train to Carlisle and looked at places like Langwathby and Kirkby Stephen through the window. Ahh, goodbye Settle-Carlisle line!!! I wish we could stay along the rail line for at least a fortnight.
Carlisle was quite dead by the time we got there (4pm). There were these little bookshelves around the station though.
We took a short local train to Wigton and met some loquacious Cumbrians who were only too happy to talk cock about accents with us. ("Do ye know what she [my girlfriend] said last night? 'Can ye pass the knoife, love?' Knoife? Are ye feckin' Oirish, now?") We are to do a 4D3N Workaway at Wigton. I hope it turns out OK.
Day 13
It's our first time doing a Workaway and I should record what it's like so far.
So Workaway is generally a room & meals in exchange for labour. We are staying in a 17th century farmhouse with our hosts and they've given us a lovely room with ensuite bathroom. The room is cold, partly because we're in freezing Cumbria, and partly because the house is old and probably drafty. But it's comfortable enough when you get in bed.
As for meals... ah! That is an essay in itself. We now realise how elaborate and demanding our palates are, for our hosts eat simply. Breakfast was a spartan affair of cold cereal and milk and a cup of tea. Lunch was a turkey and cranberry jam sandwich (cold), a packet of crisps, and tea. Dinner is the one hot meal a day - ham, chips and egg (yesterday), or lasagna (today).
Added together, it was nowhere near enough to sate me, though I recognise this to be entirely my own failing, being a gluttonous, decadent native of the tropics. We are simply not as hardy as the British, who get through the day on cold bread and tea, uncomplaining.
For our part, we laboured from about 9am to 2pm today. First we cleared an old flower bed and readied it for this spring's crop of vegetables. This was fun.
Next we cleaned out the chicken coops, 5 in total (5 pairs of 2 chickens). Also fun.
After lunch, we had the afternoon free. Our host was heading to Wigton to place her bet on the Grand National horse race, so we tagged along to the town. We found a B&M Bargains in which to buy chocolate and other random junk, which we ate as we walked to the nearby pond and looked at grazing cows and sheep.
After the walk we watched the race on TV (seems awfully cruel to me), did some sink laundry and washed our shoes, helped move some outdoor furniture to the patio, showered, had dinner, did the washing up. Then there was nothing more to do so I wrote and drew in my diary.
There is also Jess the cat (tortoiseshell) and Charlie the neighbour's cat (black and white) for entertainment.
Day 14
Today our job was to clean and repaint the entrance hallway. Here we are in super cute dungarees.
Before painting we were given a hoover with which to clean out the accumulated dirt and crap on the floor. Didn't realise how difficult it was to use a traditional bagged vacuum cleaner - eventually gave up and just swept the floor.
Our host made us ham and cheese toasties for lunch, then we walked to the nearest cafe at Crofton Hall. It felt very weird being in that expensive exclusive place. But we're not exactly rustic either. So we don't quite fit in anywhere. The walk was along the highway so not exactly pleasant, but at least we saw some nice wildflowers and picked a dandelion.
Came back and napped until dinner - rice (!!), beef chili, tortilla - then sat around chatting until bedtime. Going to sleep and leave tomorrow morning.
Thus concludes the end of our very first Workaway. What an experience! Unused to the climate and diet, I felt underfed, overworked, and bitterly cold. Upon departure I felt relieved to go back to "normal life": the world of commerce and trade and globalisation, where you exchange legal tender for San Pellegrino and sushi.
I feel curiously glad to be free of countryside society shortly. In the country, with limited access to modern amenities, it is absolutely necessary to be part of a community. The utopian myth of the small tight-knit rural community sounds pleasant enough, until you realise it's quite impossible to maintain boundaries. I yearned for the anonymity of city living, the joy of not being the sole person capable of solving all of your neighbourhood's Wi-Fi issues.
Yet when I look back it was one of the highlights of our trip. A first-hand glimpse into the lives of rural British people, who accept life's caprices with stoicism.
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