2024 Week 26: End & Beginning

Been paying attention to random strangers' non-linear career/life stories:

My Grab driver turned out to be a former video editor at [national broadcast media company]. Worked there for 23 years ("it's my life"), put up with crap, got fed up and quit. Drove Grab for 6 months. She'll be going back to her former workplace soon. I said was surprised that she didn't go somewhere else and put her in-demand video skills to good use. She said: "yeah, but I don't want to go there [make dumb Tiktoks]."

(My takeaway: having "hot skills" does not automatically make you adaptable. Being ideologically opposed to change limits your possibilities.)

The guy who organises a reading Meetup group. A couple of years ago, he was in a typical corporate job, cushy but unsatisfying. It was either climb the ladder or leave. He left. Tried a startup, but it didn't work out. Started writing a book, which had to change directions midway. He's been going for events and workshops meanwhile to explore his creative side. What's next? "Finish the book then find some kind of side hustle. If that really doesn't work then I'll go back to corporate I guess."

(My takeaway: man this guy is efficient with his time away from work. Maybe the key is being willing to spend $ on enrichment you value, e.g. workshops and Meetups.)

Finally, Kieran from Save Our Street Dogs... Studied multimedia design in poly because LiveJournal (lol 100% relate to choosing a course based on a random teenage whim). Tried many jobs e.g. web developer, adventure guide, marketing, F&B manager. Nothing really stuck. Started walking dogs at SOSD because she was thinking of opening a dog cafe. She happened to be there and unemployed when SOSD had a vacancy. 10 years later, she's still at SOSD!

(My takeaway: she didn't ~follow her passion~, she followed her curiosity and said yes to seemingly unrelated opportunities.)

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OK, on to my actual life...

Haha. I've been sick for most of the week and this is how I look and feel both. 

MON: Oopsie check in, gym, work from home

TUE: felt sick, lay in bed trying to read War and Peace, housework, ate leftovers and Tori-Q

WED: lunch w/ Gerard and work, Chaozu checkout, writing

THU: more flopping about in bed, dinner w/ Jon at Indocafe (possible wedding venue), Rabbit Zai
FRI: last day of work!!!!, chicken + zucchini + cabbage + cherry tomatoes for dinner, watched Love Lies Bleeding

SAT: Asia Cat Expo w/ Peiwen, collect Jill, Haidilao for Jon's mom's bday

SUN: bed all day, gyoza + more cabbage + zucchini for lunch, Rabbit Zai checkout, queer trivia pub quiz

So the major event of the week is that I finished my internship at Beyond. Joel: "Congratulations!" I'm glad that one person thinks congratulations are in order, because to me it felt like kind of a flop. But that's because I was burdened with significant expectations. I wanted it so badly to be My Thing for the next 5-10 years.

Anyway, all is OK. I have been processing the death of my career (and along with it, the desire for success and external validation) for the past 2 months. By the time The Actual End rolled around, I've made my peace with it. 

Despite all the midlife crisis stuff I'm really glad for the experience. Gerard-era Beyond is a 10/10 for work culture. When your workplace feels like a safe and nurturing and accepting place, you really do feel happy to go to work. And I got the chance to see what life is like on the margins of a prosperous nation. It really amazes me that people can be dignified and happy even when they live in a system that's stacked against them. There's something pleasantly contrarian about that.

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During the SPCA Voice conference, David Allen from the RSPCA UK gave a piece of advice to young people: "Don't get bothered by the doors that close in your life. Pay attention to the ones that open." 

As it turned out, the end of my internship was the start of a new chapter, because I've been asked to assist Gerard Ee and Braema Mathi to put together a book. How cool is that!? It's not every day you get a chance to learn about the process of writing and publishing a book without the pressure of being personally responsible for it.

Haven't discussed the workload or stipend, but I find it fairly immaterial. This seems like what early retirement is all about - the flexibility to work on things that interest you rather than what pays the bills.

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Things are still going well with Pets Hideout. In the first year of operations I was super reluctant to accept this as my job/income stream because of its precarious nature. What if home boarding becomes illegal?? etc. But it's been almost 2 years, nothing has happened, and most importantly I. love. it.

Sometimes when I tell people I run a business they ask me if I'm expanding the business because "pets are very lucrative, aren't they". It takes some effort to resist the paradigm of growth. I want to grow only in the areas I want to learn in, and at my own pace.

Side note on pets: went to Cat Expo and was very discomfitted by the people who brought their cats all dressed up in funny costumes. I don't really get this thing where you infantilise/humanise your pets. 

Cute-ified cockroaches, on the other hand, are kosher!

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I've been going for social events recently. It's not easy. I often automatically feel like a fat ugly teenager again, the girl that nobody wants to talk to. Still, things don't usually turn out too bad. Have to remind myself that the simple act of talking to strangers is already good enough; I don't need to make new best friends or anything.

I have the desire to find People Like Me but also a lot of anxiety around people, period. I have learnt not to take part in anything on Instagram or Telegram. Too many cool people vocal/visible on those platforms, making me feel overwhelmed and inferior.

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I turn 38(!!!!) in 3 weeks. Have been thinking about the differences between life at age 28 vs age 38. At 28, I had a lot to look forward to, because all the "fun" (to me lah) life milestones were in my 30s: first house, first pets, first stable relationship etc. 

But now those are ticked off, what can I look forward to as I creak and hobble into my 40s? I guess a lot of people elect to reproduce at this stage to keep them busy so they can put off Staring Into The Void for a couple of decades. Well there's no way I'm doing that, so I need to think about new milestones to aim for. 

I want to be more forward-looking. Probably time to ditch some baggage I've been carrying for most of my life, like the success = love formula I've been working on eliminating.