2024 Week 24: JB & Internship Reflections

MON: work, check-ins and check-outs, dinner at Fulton
TUE: JB with parents, popo and yipo
WED: work, counselling, steak dinner with Jon!
THU: check-in, lunch + planning Penang trip with dad, work, gym
FRI: work, gym, felt sick

Okay my week was quite boring apart from the JB day trip with mum, dad, popo and yipo. We had lunch buffet at DoubleTree by Hilton, which was not great - maybe cuz we went there too late - so popo and yipo decided to eat a lot of other things subsequently. Next time I will just bring them to The Replacement cafe. Have to plan non-shopping activities next time because only me and my mum were interested in shopping.

The bunnies are all right. Look at this meatball, he's so cute omg.

So my internship ends in 2 weeks. Trying to take stock but find it tough because it has left me with such a jumble of emotions. 

To begin with. I joined Beyond because I admired and respected Gerard Ee very much. But at the time I joined, he had just stepped down as Executive Director and been replaced for political reasons. (I still have a lot to learn from the senpai and I hope he has time for me after he "retires".)

This made me realise how entwined the social service industry is with political agenda. Agencies get government grants and execute programmes in alignment with the ministry's vision. It's difficult to escape the feeling that they are pretty much government vendors. You have to wonder who exactly the "many helping hands" are benefitting.

Another feeling I got is a sense of wastage and pointlessness. When walking around the rental blocks I always saw tables overflowing with cooked food lunchboxes; I believe they're from one of the many food charities. I wondered how much of it actually gets eaten, considering a lot of residents I worked with had day jobs and/or cooked their own meals.

Really, what is the point of all these charities? Poor people are just like any other people in a capitalist society; they want disposable income to buy their own things. Like it or not, we equate dignity with "being a consumer". Just like all other kids, low-income kids want to eat McDonald's. Not charity bento boxes.

So when I think of the amount of manpower and money going into these donation programmes I just find it so wasteful. Why not just channel the money to the poor? Why do we have to complicate things and create "programmes" - so that jobs can be created and corporate KPIs can be met?

Giving freebies is a short-term patch that doesn't address the fundamental problems. It's like taking a lot of painkillers when you have a rotten tooth. I end up with more questions than answers. Like why do harshest, most dangerous manual jobs pay so little? Why are homes so unaffordable that people can only break out of the rental flat trap when they choose to move to Malaysia?

When ordinary people put in a reasonable amount of effort into making a living, but they still can't get by, that shows there's something very wrong and unsustainable about our society.

While door-knocking I met quite a few residents who seemed pretty outspoken and confident. To me that's probably the most meaningful legacy of Beyond's work. They've managed to support the low-income residents without putting them down. I like that there's never an agenda of trying to get them to conform to a particular blueprint of a "successful person".

The strengths-based approach is probably the best aspect of Beyond's philosophy. Rather than view its members through a "deficit lens" (think of people in terms of what they lack e.g. money, food, discipline) we focus on amplifying each person's gifts (cooking, resourceful, good at corralling kids, positive attitude). Which, come to think of it, is a very solid approach to apply to life in general.

I had a lot of teething problems throughout the internship, that's for sure. I think this is what being voluntarily unemployed for 3 years does to you. My life has been swept clean of organisational logic - no hierarchy, reporting, objectives, obligations, work hours, meetings - and I like things this way. And I bristle when I have to change those things. 

I still can't see myself working in a full-time job in an organisation. The only good bits are dressing up to go to work and the colleagues. That's really it. Something for Workforce SG to worry about?

I'm really looking forward to life again. Upcoming trips (Penang, Hoi An, and an unplanned solo trip somewhere) and projects to work on (Pets Hideout, ashtanga yoga).