2023 Weeks 42 & 43: I'm OK
I am currently feeling happy about how my life has turned out. My days/weeks have a nice rhythm and I spend most of my time doing pleasant things.
I have turned off my alarm clock so wake up around 9 these days. I do the pet chores and Jon makes us breakfast. We have toast, eggs, coffee, and fruit together, then I write/draw in my journal. I reemerge from my room for a shower and lunch, then I go to work in the afternoon. After shelving books for a few hours I come home and make dinner. We watch TV or a movie while we eat dinner. After washing up I read until I feel sleepy. When I'm not working, I spend the afternoon writing on my blog.
Just a few weeks ago, though, I was feeling angsty and directionless and old. I'm not too sure what changed. Maybe I just needed to let go of expectations and obligations.
The other day I was hanging out with Van and noticed some subtle negative effects of marinating in a corporate environment. She's been working in the same place for over a year and has a pretty good setup, objectively speaking. Yet she doesn't seem to be able to relax and go into cruise control mode. It seems like there are always moving goalposts, workplace performance-wise. Plus this ever-present background anxiety about whether she's making enough money or getting the right skills to snag a better job.
I feel very lucky to not have such worries. At work I hang out with either 30-something underachievers or students who haven't started angsting over employability yet. Fortunately the world's go-getters steer well clear of minimum wage jobs in retail.
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