2023 Week 27: Turning 37

I will be 37 years old this month. This seems absurd given my personality, which is as volatile, bad-tempered, and lost as any 17 year old's. How can I have lived this long and experienced so much of life, and yet not be settled into my own character and my ways? In other words, why am I still not a Mature Adult?

I can only surmise that any past resemblance to a Mature Adult was pure coincidence. In all likelihood it was only a costume I wore for work purposes - and, having left that world with no intention to return, I have shed it like so much reptile epidermis. Without the conditioning of a workplace populated with Mature Adults, I have reverted even more to adolescence - I talk back, I rebel, I throw tantrums, I childishly question authority, I am more hopelessly idealistic, I have a societally unacceptable LinkedIn profile photo.

These youthful passions sit uncomfortably with the signs of age in my body. I feel these especially strongly since coming back from the UK. I creak. My joints feel like they've rusted from the humidity. My eyesight has deteriorated; I can't read fine print too close to my face. And either my hearing is going, or there is a lot more noise pollution from all the new BTO sites nearby. 

The race is on to stay young - physically. I don't mean merely avoiding white hairs, wrinkles, flab, etc. although of course those matter. Mainly, though, I don't want to have to restrict my movements in exercise. I don't want to have to modify knee bends and shoulder openers like my dad does (because those parts have rusted shut. I don't want to avoid skipping or dancing out of concern for joint impact. I don't want to be afraid of falling when I do yoga inversions or balancing poses. 

The only thing I can do as a preventative measure is to move more - both more intensely and more often. 

But that's for physical youth. As for mental/emotional youth - I have to practise in the other direction. I do not like how childish and inconsiderate I have become; I need to practise being older in character. Maybe I have to listen to classical music and read Steven Pinker books and nod sagely while conversing about the economy. I don't know! Suggestions welcome.

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Monday: went to JB via the Second Link. We had no idea the Second Link would be so dead compared to Woodlands. Well at first we were pleased at the lack of a queue. Then we realised there was no way to Legoland - except wait for the mythical bus CW7L, which did not turn up in the 40 minutes we were there. In the end we got there in a most roundabout way: CW3 to Aeon Bukit Indah then a taxi.

Anyway, the entire objective of this trip was to visit Ben's Independent Grocer for the Waitrose(!!!) section. And this mission was accomplished the moment we found Waitrose chocolate-covered malted milk biscuits for sale. The rest of B.I.G. was quite a letdown though; very overpriced. B.I.G. has a restaurant in-house but I found it too salty (very British of me). We then went home to eat leftovers for dinner.

Tuesday: lunch with my parents at a hawker centre. I was not happy with the hawker food. Again: too salty and oily. How I wanted a sandwich - a simple ham and cheese on brown bread! We couldn't get a slot for yoga so went to Delta Swimming Pool. I cried.

Wednesday & Thursday: I worked. Shelving, shrinkwrapping, opening cartons of books, and reading a lot of Pride & Prejudice.

Friday, Saturday & Sunday: I went on a crazy library binge. I know. Wild. I borrowed soooo many books that were outside of my reading syllabus (i.e. literature classics), mostly non-fiction and the latest trashy (although actually quite good) Ali Hazelwood romance.

I have also been collecting things for my room this weekend, including used but great condition Manduka yoga mats (!!) from a renovating yoga studio and a bookshelf. I still need to move the books from the Toyogo boxes into the new bookshelf, but the bones of the room are done and I have inaugurated it with my first nap, on the free sofa I collected from a neighbour via Olio.

Books I finished this week: Pride & Prejudice and 52 Ways to Walk.

We had this wee thing over all week. Baby bunnies are so cute, yet so unformed personality-wise. I always wonder how they'll turn out.